


'ya know it all, 'yer my best friend

by junmoney



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Brief homophobia, Gen, cute sibling stuff, manga spoilers!!!!!!!, no romance i just wanted cute miyas, trans atsumu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:22:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23739799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junmoney/pseuds/junmoney
Summary: Osamu is used to walking the Earth with a carbon-copy of himself by his side, so it's a little weird when his copy starts looking a little different than him.But he still loves 'Tsumu to death.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu
Comments: 22
Kudos: 176





	'ya know it all, 'yer my best friend

The first memory Osamu has is of Atsumu from a family camping trip.

He could recall the trees that stretched into the heavens and resembled walls at night; he could recall the crackling of the fireplace their father used to cook fish in; he could recall the trickling of the stream that he and Atsumu surely explored at some point.

He could recall Atsumu balancing himself on a boulder, goading Osamu to come join him if he wasn't a coward. Osamu wasn't a coward, he knew he could best Atsumu in anything if he put his mind to it, but something hadn't felt right about the situation. 

And then Atsumu slipped.

There was a smear of blood on the rock where Atsumu had split his head open, and Osamu was sure that his brother was going to die from blood loss. He felt frozen with fear, he couldn't scream for his parents until Atsumu began wailing  _ "I'm dyin'!", _ and then Osamu joined with his own wail;  _ "Atsumu's dyin'!" _

He could recall his parents rushing over and fretting over Atsumu. Their mother inspected the wound and had seemed relieved that it was only a cut.

_ "He ain't dyin', quit screamin' 'yer heads off,"  _ she'd reassured them.  _ "He's just got a little cut on his head, 's all. Head cuts like these bleed a lot but they ain't too bad." _

Atsumu sniveled as their mom patched him up. Osamu was still shaken by it all, he couldn't understand how someone could lose that much blood and  _ not  _ die, but he didn't have long to question it before their mother effectively punched the wind out of him;

_ "'Yer a big brother, Osamu. 'Ya gotta keep Atsumu safe. 'Ya really dropped the ball with this one." _

  
  
  


Osamu was the big brother, but it didn't always feel like it. Atsumu didn't care much about respecting his brother, because it was only a  _ few minutes' _ difference between their births. They were best friends and equals, but their parents sure didn't let Osamu forget their birth order. 

He was responsible for Atsumu. He had to set an example for his baby brother.

It was frustrating, because Atsumu was his own person; everyone might've gotten the two of them mixed up more often than not, but they were two completely different people. How could Osamu be responsible for someone who did whatever the hell he wanted?

The frustration built up over the years, and it finally culminated in second grade. Osamu couldn't quite remember what happened, but he simply snapped and beat Atsumu a lot harder than usual.

Atsumu was in tears by the time Osamu stopped his barrage of fists, and that was the first time he truly felt like an older brother; he'd apologized profusely and brought his brother to his chest, and he only hoped he could be forgiven for his lapse of judgment. Osamu had to take the initiative--  _ "'Ya gotta keep Atsumu safe." _

Eventually, Atsumu forgave him. They could never be mad at each other long, it was only a matter of time before they were back to business as usual, but something had shifted in Atsumu.

  
  
  


Junior high school was hard. Osamu spent all his time with his brother, and it was hard to make friends when your identical twin brother wasn't making an effort to be likable. 

Volleyball was their top priority-- it was funny how those things worked. Osamu and Atsumu were two different people, but sometimes they seemed like one whole person; they looked alike, talked alike, ate alike, and obsessed over their interests alike.

Osamu only wished Atsumu was more conscious of his brother, just like Osamu was.

_ If he wasn't such a stinkin' butthole, maybe we'd have more friends.  _

He felt a rush of anger hearing their teammates whisper Atsumu's name - he didn't have to hear what exactly was said to know it was something bad - and he chucked a volleyball to the back of his brother's head.

_ "'Yer not alone, 'ya stupid pig!" _

Atsumu was up on his feet in an instant. The coach had to separate and reprimand the two of them, but not before they landed a few good hits on each other.

Osamu got a second lecture from his parents at home. He wished he could tell them it was for Atsumu's own good-- if he were honest, he just wanted his brother to stop being so isolated from everyone.

  
  
  


_ "'Samu… 'ya awake…?" _

Osamu groaned in response.  _ "The fuck is it that it can't wait 'till mornin'…?" _

_ "'Samu… I like boys. I dunno what to do…" _

The sleep had left him in an instant. Osamu couldn't say he was completely blindsided by the fact; there were rumors floating around school that Atsumu had been seen kissing a boy behind the gym after school. The rumors were hard to ignore, especially when some mistakenly said it was  _ Osamu  _ kissing a boy.

At fifteen, everything seemed like the end of the world, though. Thinking back on it, Osamu should've thought his response better;  _ "So? I like boys too, 'ya ain't special." _

Atsumu sniffled quietly.  _ "I kissed a boy, 'Samu. He called me names-- said I was a fuckin' weirdo for likin' him…" _

_ "Well, he can go fuck himself. 'Ya ain't a weirdo for likin' boys, 'yer a weirdo for bein' such a volleyball nut. 'Yer gonna marry our Molten ball one day, I'm callin' it now."  _ He was relieved hearing his brother laugh at his joke-- he was the older brother, after all; he had to keep Atsumu safe.

_ "I sure hope I do." _

  
  
  


Things were easier when your brother had your back. Individually, both Osamu and Atsumu were afraid of coming out at school. Teenagers were awful people, and society wasn't all too accepting of gay boys, especially gay boys who played a sport because that meant they were  _ constantly  _ around other boys.

But they weren't alone-- they were the Miyas, and they were to be feared on and off court. Osamu could confidently say he and his brother were like the kings of the school, and no one could bring down a king for his sexuality.

The first time that Osamu fooled around with a boy was coincidentally the first time Atsumu had his first real heartbreak. Osamu was at Rintarou's place, and he was quickly finding out how easy it was to get lost in someone's touch. His phone buzzed once, then twice, then four times in succession. 

Rintarou had pulled away just slightly to peer at Osamu's phone;  _ "It's 'Tsumu." _

_ "Ugh." _ Osamu pulled Rintarou closer by the shirt; _ "Fuck 'im, I'm busy." _

_ "'Yer so hot when 'yer defyin' the capt'n." _

_ "I'm older. He should be listenin' to  _ **_me_ ** _ \--" _

The phone rang again, this time with a call. Osamu groaned as he blindly reached for it.  _ "What?" _ he'd answered.

_ "Can 'ya please come home?" _ Atsumu's voice had been a whisper.  _ "I need 'ya." _

Osamu's heart sank. He didn't say much as he grabbed his things and headed home, his previous frustrations all but gone. 

When he pushed the door to their room open, Atsumu was a lump on the bed. He'd cocooned himself in the blanket, and Osamu could tell he'd been crying.

_ "Kita broke up with me,"  _ he croaked.  _ "I dunno what to do…" _

Osamu had never dealt with a breakup-- that was all Atsumu's forte, surprisingly. He wasn't sure what to say to try and remedy the situation, but he sure did know what Atsumu  _ usually  _ wanted when he was upset. 

He crawled into bed next to his brother and tightly wrapped his arms around his brother.  _ "'M sorry, 'Tsumu… I love 'ya. It'll be okay." _

Atsumu took a shuddering breath;  _ "Thanks, 'Samu…" _

  
  
  


It was Atsumu who was caught first. 

Osamu had no clue what was happening when he'd walked in on his parents having a screaming match with his brother. There were broken dishes on the floor, Atsumu's voice was hoarse from screaming and crying, and Osamu only had a split second to react by running in front of his brother to take the blow given by his mom. She seemed startled to see him there, she clearly hadn't heard him come home, but then her eyes narrowed.

_ "Get the fuck away from 'im." _

_ "Why are 'ya hittin' 'Tsumu?" _

_ "'Cause he's a nasty queer!" _

The wind was punched out of Osamu, and Atsumu choked on a sob. There was no way their mom had said that-- there was no way she was that closed-minded.

But then their dad had spoken, and effectively killed the last flame of hope Osamu had for their parents;  _ "We want 'im out of here, 'Samu. Or else we'll kill 'im." _

_ "We're leavin' tonight then." _

Atsumu grabbed his arm;  _ "'Samu, no--" _

_ "'Ya heard 'em. They don't want any 'nasty queers,' so I gotta leave too." _

_ "This is fuckin' unbelievable,"  _ their mother had said in exasperation.  _ "We raised 'ya better than that." _

Osamu chose to ignore her words. There were so many things he could've said in retaliation, but at the same time, he couldn't think of anything at all. They locked themselves in their shared room, and neither of them said anything as they packed through their tears.

Then, Atsumu broke down into a sob;  _ "'m s-so sorry, 'Samu-- 'S my fault--" _

_ "It ain't 'yer fault. We didn't know our parents would be this way." _

_ "Y-yeah, but… 'ya didn't have to out 'yaself…" _

Osamu stepped away from his things to pull Atsumu into a tight hug.  _ "'M 'yer big bro, dumbass. I gotta keep 'ya safe." _

Bruises heal quickly; there was no sign of that day on Atsumu's body by the time the two of them had enough money to rent an apartment in Tokyo and shuttle themselves off to their new home. 

The wounds of the heart and mind, however, definitely took longer to heal. The two of them had residual aches and pains from the destruction of their family-- but at least they had each other. 

Thank  _ god _ they had each other. 

At the tender age of eighteen, Osamu found himself with only Atsumu to rely on in the world.

  
  
  


Living alone with his brother was definitely an adjustment, even two years since the arrangement. On one hand, Osamu was thankful for the separate rooms they finally had.

On the other, he missed Atsumu when his brother was gone for long hours at a time for volleyball practice. It was weird not spending every waking hour with his brother, but it gave him time to really pursue his individual interests.

And it made the time they  _ did  _ spend together that much sweeter. 

The two of them were drinking beer and loudly making fun of the reality TV show they were watching. Osamu was tipsy and was weighing whether to cut himself off for the night or allow Atsumu to enable him into total inebriation.

_ "'Samu," _ Atsumu had said suddenly when their conversation had long since lulled.

He looked to his brother and hummed in response. 

_ "'Ya think 'ya can call me 'Mei' from now on?" _

Osamu furrowed his brows as he looked at his twin.  _ "Why?" _

_ "'Cause I've been thinkin' about it a lot lately, and I think 'm ready to say that-- that 'm trans, 'Samu. 'M… a woman?" _

It took a moment. It took a long moment for Osamu's brain to really take it all in, and he could see the fear in his twin's expression, the fear of  _ This is just like our parents finding out we were gay _ .

But Osamu could only smile in return.  _ "Don't think I ain't gonna smack 'ya around when 'yer bein' a little shit, Mei." _

And she laughed, the most carefree laugh Osamu had heard in a long time.  _ "Wouldn't want it any other way, 'Samu." _

  
  
  


A lot of things changed since then. There were cute skirts and dresses mixed into the laundry Osamu did every week. There were wigs periodically shipped to their apartment that would help her imagine what it would be like with long hair. His sister had gone through many name changes over the months. She tried every name under the sun, from extremely feminine to more gender-neutral, but none of them seemed to satisfy her.

And then finally, she settled on just being  _ Tsumu _ . 

_ "It's the only name that feels right,"  _ she'd explained on their twenty-second birthday.  _ "Maybe I'll find another name I like, but for now, Tsumu's the one." _

Osamu couldn't say he understood-- his whole life, he'd  _ understood  _ his twin through and through, they were practically carbon copies of each other.

But it was okay that he didn't completely understand her now. She was happy whenever Osamu prattled on about how proud of his baby sister he was to his friends, and he was happy seeing her eyes light up when she experienced  _ gender euphoria _ ; that was something he could never fully understand, but that was okay.

Osamu was okay with being different from his sister for once. They were both completely happy in their lives, and that was all that mattered. 

He looked up when he heard the cheers suddenly stop. It was Tsumu's turn to serve, which would explain the sudden cut in noise. Osamu held his breath, and he only exhaled it when he saw her flub her serve.

"Lame… Too excited," he mumbled, right before tensing when Tsumu turned right around to glare at him.

_ "'Ya were dissin' me, weren't 'ya?"  _ her gaze seemed to say, and Osamu could only laugh. 

Of course she'd flub her first serve of the match-- this was  _ the match  _ she'd been waiting ages for, when she finally would get to show Kageyama Tobio how easily she had monsters dance to her tune. 

Namely, she just wanted to show off Shoyou.

Osamu watched with pride as his sister played the game in full sets, and when the Black Jackals won the game, a funny thing happened.

He watched as Tsumu was bombarded with cheers and praise from her teammates, and he remembered their last year of high school, when the two of them celebrated beating Karasuno at Nationals. They'd been riding high on adrenaline the whole rest of the day, and then Tsumu had spoken the words he'd never forget;

_ "I hope I get to feel this again when I'm older. I wanna keep havin' victories like this with 'ya." _

Tsumu turned to look at Osamu from the court and pumped her fist up in the air. Osamu smiled and pumped his own fist into the air in return, and he watched as she was dragged away by the team.

She'd need him in a bit to go through with the goal she'd set before the match--  _ "If we win this, I think I'll come out on social media. You'll be there to brace that shitstorm with me, right?" _

Osamu sold the rest of his food to the hungry customers, but he made sure to save two of Tsumu's favorite onigiri for her. She was the champion of today's game, even when Shoyou had taken the spotlight.

He wondered for a split second what was going to change with his sister publicly coming out as trans-- it would definitely raise questions whether or not she could still play for her team, and maybe that was a bigger monster to tackle than either of them could imagine.

But Tsumu didn't care about anyone's opinion of her, so long as she had her big brother supporting her every step of the way.

And there was no way in hell Osamu wouldn't do everything in his power to keep Tsumu safe.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! please heavily consider commenting if you enjoyed this, comments keep me going as a writer :')


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